Marriage Myths – Part 8

December 31st, 2012

Welcome to Marriage Myth #8!  As you read the Relationship_Stages_Myths article, and read on here, you might consider talking with the people in your life about what marriage means.  What do you believe is the purpose or point of marriage?  When I talk to my spouse about our beliefs about marriage, our connection grows, our patience increases and our love deepens.  Give it a shot and please let me know how it goes!  (PS – What did you and your spouse discover about your endorsement or rejection of Myth #7?) Read the rest of this entry »

Marriage Myths – Part 7

November 13th, 2012

Welcome to Marriage Myth #7!  As you read about the Relationship_Stages_Myths and read on here, you might consider talking with the people in your life about what marriage means.  What do you believe is the purpose or point of marriage?  When I talk to my spouse about our beliefs about marriage, our connection grows, our patience increases and our love deepens.  Give it a shot and please let me know how it goes!  (PS – What did you and your spouse discover about your endorsement or rejection of Myth #6?)

Myth #7: Maintaining romantic love is the key to marital happiness over the life span for most couples. Read the rest of this entry »

Marriage Myths – Part 6

October 15th, 2012

Welcome to Marriage Myth #6!  As you read the article and read on here, you might consider talking with the people in your life about what marriage means.  What do you believe is the purpose or point of marriage?  When I talk to my spouse about our beliefs about marriage, our connection grows, our patience increases and our love deepens.  Give it a shot and please let me know how it goes!  (PS – What did you and your spouse discover about your endorsement or rejection of Myth #5?)

Myth #6: I must first feel better about my partner before I can change my behavior toward him or her. Read the rest of this entry »

Keeping up with the Joneses

September 13th, 2012

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Every time my wife and I walk into a friend’s home we seem to be bombarded with a slew of subliminal messages telling us we don’t have enough and we need to buy more. My wife has even been quoted saying, “Leather couches, new cars, home decor, summer vacations and a baby on the way. How do they have all of this nice stuff?”

We analyzed our situation and often asked ourselves, “What were we doing differently than other couples our age?” We know each situation is different, so we tried to avoid comparisons and focus on what we could do to improve ourselves and our marriage, but that is sometimes hard to do. Read the rest of this entry »

Fighting About Money?

August 21st, 2012

I cannot tell you how many times my wife and I were given that advice before we got married. In one form or another we were told, “Don’t ever fight or argue about money; it’s not worth it.” At the time we were so in love that we were impervious to potential fights or arguments, so we took the advice with a grain of salt.

Read the rest of this entry »

Marriage Myths – Part 5

July 23rd, 2012

Welcome to Marriage Myth #5!  As you read the Relationship Stages Myths article and read on here, you might consider talking with the people in your life about what marriage means.  What do you believe is the purpose or point of marriage?  This kind of conversation can be enlightening.  While I talk to my spouse about our beliefs about marriage, our connection grows, our patience increases and our love deepens.  Give it a shot and please let me know how it goes!  (PS – What did you and your spouse discover about your endorsement or rejection of Myth #4?)

Myth #5: The more my spouse discloses positive and negative information to me, the closer I will feel to him or her and the greater our marital satisfaction will be. Read the rest of this entry »

Sole 2 Soul Event

July 12th, 2012

Some people run to love.  Others run away from love.  Here is your chance to run for love.  Join us at Sugar House Park Saturday, July 14 for the Sole to Soul 5k and event.  The 5k begins at 9AM with other activities to follow.  There will be lots of fun, free activities for loved ones of all ages.  Make sure to stop by the Stronger Marriage booth,  visit with Dr. Liz,   and pick-up a  FREE  copy of our marriage handbook!

Pre-register to save your spot for the 5k at www.sole2soulrace.com and use passcode ‘GUEST’ for a free registration! Come celebrate love with us!

 

Setting Expectations in Marriage

June 6th, 2012

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Hello again everyone! Married life has been keeping me busier than expected.  When my wife and I were discussing what we thought married life would be like, we thought we would be spending the majority of our free time together – and it would be so great!  The truth is that although we do spend the majority of our free time together, it just never seems like there’s enough free time.  And while the time we spend together is great, I’m left wanting more.

Have any of you experienced this too?  Were you surprised by what you expected marriage to be vs. the reality of what it is?  Read the rest of this entry »

Marriage Myths – Part 4

May 30th, 2012

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Welcome to Marriage Myth #4!  As you read the article (link to full article below) and read on here, I encourage you to search the corners of your own mind, invite your spouse to do the same and discuss together your beliefs about what marriage means.  When you both honestly make the effort to do so, I anticipate that your connection will blossom, your patience for one another will increase, and your love will deepen.  Give it a shot and please let me know how it goes! (PS – What did you and your spouse discover about your endorsement or rejection of Myth #3?)

Myth #4: Either my spouse loves me or doesn’t love me; nothing I do will affect the way he or she feels about me. Read the rest of this entry »

Marriage Myths – Part 3

May 10th, 2012

Welcome to Marriage Myth #3!  As you read on, I encourage you to search the corners of your own mind, invite your partner to do the same and discuss together your beliefs about what marriage means.  When you both honestly make the effort to do so, I anticipate that your connection will blossom, your patience for one another will increase, and your love will deepen.  Give it a shot and please let me know how it goes! (PS – What did you and your spouse discover about your endorsement or rejection of Myth #2?  I’m looking forward to reading your comments.)

Myth #3: I can change my spouse by pointing out his or her inadequacies, errors, and other flaws.

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Whew!  Finally!  A myth that is EASY for me to debunk.  I probably have my years as a direct care counselor in residential treatment to thank for this reality check.  Those teenage girls taught me that unless someone feels absolutely accepted as they are, no one wants to risk making changes.  Change is hard.  Change is scary.  Hard-won changes might not always stick for the long term.  If a person already feels unsafe in her relationship, there is very little incentive for her to put herself out there by admitting a deficit and attempting a remedy.  The fear of failure can be overwhelming, especially if there is uncertainly about whether or not the relationship can successfully absorb the failure.  Someone in an insecure relationship might think, “My spouse is already annoyed with me/doesn’t understand me/doesn’t love me as I am.  If the changes I try to make don’t stick/don’t happen right away, my spouse will just be less understanding/more angry.”  Why should I even bother?

Read the rest of this entry »